Pre Surgery pics 2

Waiting 

 

Painted belly

Drawing

Just out of surgery

Pre Surgery Pics

I KNOW YOU ALL HAVE BEEN DYING TO SEE THESE! Actually I almost die looking at them :P 

PLEASE ONLY VIRW IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO! YOU CANNOT REMOVE THESE PICTURES FROM YOUR EYES ONCE SEEN! 

Yep I got pretty good at dressing to get it all to suck itself in. After losing 14kg - 55kg

Before losing weight - 71kg

Sucking in

Laying down

Laying on my side

Bending over

Is it over yet? Day 5 of recovery

I went home last night. I wish I hadn't! I am a person that doesn't enjoy not being able to help myself. I don't like reling on people, or asking for help. So understandably this has been a hard week for me. It has also been humbling. Others find it easy to let people do things for them. I like to be the one serving. It brings me great happiness to serve others. I have an amazing husband who constantly reminds me of this. How can others gain the blessings of service if you deny them the opportunity to serve you. 

Yes I know I know is often my reply.

Well last night and today proved just how hard it is and how much I need to overcome. We got home and I sat in the recliner while Joshua got the boys and bags out the car, washed the boys, TPTPYS (toilet, pjs, teeth, prayer, yoga, scriptures) then put them to bed. I listened to yelling and crying and cries out for mum. It was hardest not giving full cuddles especially from my 1yr old. Then Joshua helped me, made me comfy. Eventually we went to bed too. He helped me in and put the pillows under my knees and put the covers on. 

I woke up sore. Mostly in my back. My lower back is now carrying my whole body. The muscles up my spine hurt and my ongoing pinched sciatica nerve is flaring up. Back cramp, I think is the worst cramp! 

Now it's Sunday and After climbing into my rocking chair I've stayed here all morning. Joshua fed and entertained the boys. Youngest has been put down for a sleep. I got up and made lunch but my back forced me back into the chair. 

Now Joshua is begging to get the boys dressed. 

I know I should enjoy it. It should feel like it's his turn after all the weeks he's spent away but instead it's hard! It hurts a bit too. It's my job. I'm the mother. I should be caring for them. 

I'm ready to be better. I had 5 days already. After all my csections I was all good by day 5. Sure I was restricted in lifting but I could do anything else. I could be a mother properly after 5 days. 

This just feels like the healing is taking it's jolly little time!

I'm over it!

I want to stand up strait

I want to lay flat

I want these stupid compressed stockings off

I want to hug my kids and help my hubby

There are 24 days until Christmas and I've done nothing!

The pain recovery is no more or less then a csection but being out of action is def slower. 

I expected to be in more pain for the first week then able to move quicker. Instead I've got hardly any pain and a long slow recovery. 

Did I mention I'm a bit impatient? 

Days 3 and 4 of recovery

Yesterday I was able to pretty much stand upright! :) it takes a while to get there but it is achievable. I did have pain on my sides and throughout the day it became worse. I had to go to get another girdle. One is not enough considering how often you wear it. You get them from burnside lingere at burnside plaza. There are so many options of the girdle/brace. I was told to get the one that looks like a leotard. 'POOF' $140 gone! That was only for 1. So speaking to Tina (she had a TT don't the day after mine) she bought a wrap around one that was only $80! So I went In store, looking like a bogan, and asked for another brace. They gave me a wrap one that only cost $44 SWEET :) 

Next my hubby and I went to look at a vacuum and spotlight. I pretty much walked in and out of the stores. I felt ok. Long stretches of walking took my breath away, only due to be so tightly compressed but no extra pain. (Also cannot speak long sentences or talk loudly at the kids) 

We got back to the in-laws, which is where I have been staying since coming home from hospital, so I don't get accidentally attacked by a kid and also so my hubby only has 3 kids to chase after not 4. I changed my brace over. I was planning on showering but still have yet to do it. Gross hey! Baby wipes and decoderent do a pretty good job. Anyway, when I took the girdle off the pain came and I could tell why! Cue brushing! :( the side zip from the girdle was sitting on my wound and digging in to where they did lipo. It stung. I put the other wrap on and it helped a bit but I did use pain killers that night. I slept well and was able to take one cushion from under my knees. Only using 2. This morning I felt good again. Swelling has gone down significantly since last night and the pain has almost gone completely. At some points I do get a stabbing/pulling pain on my left side. I think it has a bit to do with how the other girdle was sitting on the wound. My tummy has also been itchy. Good sign that it's healing :) 

MORE RUDIE PICTURES OF ME!!

Just after taking the first girdle off. Lighting isn't the best. You can see how low my cut is. :)

Closer view. I'm not happy with my muffin tops at this point, hoping it's just swelling and will go down. I use to be a box shape and coz I'm so short I don't really like the hourglass figure. Makes me look shorter. But as I said early days, fingers crossed it's swelling. 

Right side

Left side - note the tummy swelling

Left side bruising and you can see the marks on my side where the zipper from the girdle sat. Right over the big bloody wound part. This is where the majority of my pain is coming from. Also the sharp pulling.

Right brusing 

New guirdle sits a lot better. No digging in.

And for the record, random bruising on the top of my thighs. I don't think I want to know how that bruising got there!

Day 2 of Recovery

Last night I was able to lay flat with pillows under my knees. I think I had 3 of them piled up. I slept really well considering I'm usually a side sleeper. When I woke up my legs were super stiff! After moving them around I felt a lot better. My back is compensating a lot for my tummy while it's healing. It is very sore especially in my lower back. I'm def going to get a massage once I can lay on my belly again. Besides that all is well. I love feeling my tummy muscles working. You don't realise how much they are used for. They are called your core for a reason. My pain level is low. I have more pain under my right rib and on my left hip so they get most of the ice. It's pretty annoying not being able to walk up strait. But I'm sure it won't be long til I'm strait again. I keep thinking I am standing striated everyday but then I look in the mirror and it doesn't look like it at all! 

More pictures

As strait as I can get

Girdle. Most of my pain is in my muffin top where she did some lipo. Next is the top of my belly obviously where the muscles were stitched back together

Post surgery pics

WARNING MAY BE GRAPHIC FOR SOME

First picture with girdle on

First photo of bare tummy just before drain were removed

Body issues

So after 3 pregnancies and 3 c-sections I was diagnosed with a split in the stomach muscles measuring 10cms. Pretty cool party trick was making my fist disappear in my stomach.

I also had a lot of pain. Everyone I would eat my stomach would bulge and cause pain. I felt like a burn along with stabbing. I had an ultrasound that confirmed no hernia but that it was only a matter of time as the lining was stretched and super thin. When it did tear it would be big. At one point I was in so much pain I ended up in hospital. They were convicted I had a tear in my stomach lining but they couldn't find it. I said it was my seperation. Finally and older dr agreed with me. 

I don't remember when I first read about Medicare giving a free tummy tuck. I think it was after baby no 1. But after no 3 I did my reaserch. The only surgeon I could find reviews for was Dr Julie Lawrence. Surly she wasn't the only one. I then heard of a family friend who had just had a TT with Margaret Anderson. I found her and was impressed with what I saw. I'm not squeamish so I even watched her youtube videos. I sent emails to both to get more info about being covered by Medicare and they both said they had waiting lists and to book a consaultation. I booked with both and got to see Margaret first. I ended up cancelling with Julie as I felt Margaret was the one for me. She expressed how bad my condition was and how the surgery should be free for all women that have had children. 

I started out after baby no3 at 71kg. It was mostly in my stomach. At the time of my consaultation (June) I had reached 64kg. Margaret said I needed to get to 60 to be in my correct BMI. At that point I was described as a young women with an old lady's body. I was not happy with what I saw in the mirror. It affected how I was a mother and a wife. I couldn't do my everyday duties like picking them up, carting them around, baths were awful on my back and if struggled to control the trolley while buying groceries. I was on Endone (tablet morphine) just so I could sleep at night. Margaret's waiting list was 18months. I couldn't wait that long. She suggested that in this case paying for it might be the way to go. You get a car loan coz your family needs a car, why not a loan so you can have a mother that can perform everyday duties. Was what she said. I went home to Joshua and he agreed. We would still have to wait tho until Perry was 1 other wise I could have had the surgery in August. We looked at other options like Thailand but it didn't feel right. Margaret was so kind and made me feel that my body would be in great hands. So we waited and we saved  as much as we could. I don't have exact amounts with me as I'm in hospital now but it was going to be over $8000- closer to $9000. We did it! :) 

Two weeks ago all the letters came we filled them in and payed for what we could. The days got closer but it hadn't hit me. We drove to the hospital got in the room had the anaethasist talk to me and eventually Margaret came and took photos and drew on my belly. Then got back in bed and it hit me. I began to cry. All my excitement went away and the reality on a major surgery and pain to come hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted Joshua to come with me and hold my hand the whole time. He said to think of my Grandpa Wally. I did and I could feel his presence there watching over me. The Anaethasist gave me the drugs to put me to sleep and the last thing I remember was listening to Margaret talking about her cruise and the people fighting. I then awoke with the shakes and being itchy. I don't remember a lot after that as I was going in and out of anaesthetic. I was feeling pretty good. I even didn't feel dizzy on the way to the toilet for the first time. Until I get there. I went green and felt sick! I couldn't move. It eventually passed enough that I could hobble back to bed. I fell back asleep. (ooh code black just announced) anyway, 2nd time I got up was 100% better and the 3rd time 100% better again. I pretty much was on my own by then. Margaret was impressed with my recovery and said drains could come out and I could go home today. :) the drains was a weird feeling! Cannot describe the sensation. Kinda like stitches I guess but thicker. 

Over all I had 1kg of skin/fat taken and a bit of lipo. I will post pics a bit later. 

The beginning of the end

This will be a very personal post. It is a lead up to me having the operation so I think it is worth sharing.

I have only shared with people who are close to me so far. 

Just so you know I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Mormon) My Father in Heaven is very important to me. If you have questions about my religion or things I speak of please don't hesitate to ask. Or visit mormon.org

When I was pregnant with Perry we knew this would be the last baby that I would physically carry and give birth to. Early on in the Pregnancy we both went to the temple and Joshua had a strong impression that we were having a girl. I was more then excited! Funnily enough when we found out she was a he I wast dissipointed for long. He would still be my baby. The biggest question we still are yet to figure out is why Heavenly Father would tell Joshua it was a girl when it wasn't. What I do know is that he has a plan for me and my family and he sent us a son instead for a reason. I love my boys so dearly. 

We also had nurses suggest getting my tubes tied. This is rare for midwives, drs, etc to suggest to a woman of only 25. There is a rule that they don't offer it to women over 30 who are admit they are done having children. But every visit we were asked again. We once again went to the temple and realised that this was Devine intervention. We needed to listen to the advice of the Drs. This was also said many times during priesthood blessings.

The decision was made. No more children. 

I was doing well after Perry was born a bit emotional as he grew but well. There was one point that I hit bottom and I couldn't get myself out of feeling negative and jealous. I was bitter and couldn't understand why I couldn't have more kids. Why couldn't I have a daughter. I'm a good mum I could easily handle more. Give me all the kids in the world and I will love them. Thankfully with the love of Joshua and my Heavenly Father I came to realise that I may never know why but I need to stop focusing on what I don't have and focus on what I do have.  And that is 3 amazing boys! A life full of noise and mess and sport. But most of all love! 

The Tummy tuck!!

Well today is the day! I am in the car driving to my operation. I'm feeling more excited then nervous at the moment just thinking about what the out come may be but at the same time not getting my hopes up. I'm sure I will be pleased with however I look after. I will keep you updated as much as I can and hopefully post pictures later. Wish me luck! :)

Baby no.3

 I got back from the USA at the end of Feb and had a positive Pregnancy test by the end of March. My first ultrasound was on my birthday and baby was 7 weeks. Due date was set for 12/12/12

This was by far the toughest Pregnancy!

I just want to say that these posts are by no means me complaining about 'how bad" my pregnancy was, or boasting, or a way of me looking for sympathy. 

Its the facts of what happened and how it made me feel. More of a record so i don't forget.

I truly believe that no matter what you are going through, someone always has it harder then you! Sure people can handle things differently, but if one person can handle it, why not you/me? I have always strived to be a better person a strengthen myself. instead of having a big sooki la pity party about how I'm feeling or my own pain, i would find others who inspire me and learn to suck it up! Pregnancy and birth seems to be the best opportunity to do that. 

DON'T GRUMBLE,

DON'T BLUSTER,

DON'T SLEEP and DON'T SHIRK.

Don't think of your Worries,

Just think of your work.

Then your Worries will Vanish,

The Work will be Done.

For no man sees his Shadow,

Who Faces the SUN.

I love this poem! If you focus on your problems, that is all you will see. So find someone with bigger problems then your own and HELP THEM! I grantee that you will forget all about yourself!!

So here we go.

I swear the moment i conceived i gain 5kg! If you ever want to know if i am pregnant just look at my face. if its puffier then usual, i prob am!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me! 7 weeks pregnant and feeling like I'm gonna spew

From about 6weeks pregnant i became tired (usual fall asleep on the couch at 10 and 3 tired) and also the nausea. Now for those who don't know me, i have a fear of feeling nauseous and vomiting. I actually get panic attacks. So not so great for me. Thank goodness i never vomited. altho sometimes i like to think that if i vomited i may feel better. 

I felt nauseous so i dint feel like eating anything, but if i didn't eat constantly then i would feel sicker and light headed and have a panic attack and faint. so i had to eat.

I remember i was at my best friends wedding and i swear if i didn't eat i was going to die. Unfortunately it meant telling a few people about my baby on the wedding day and you know who gossip spreads. by the end of the day many people knew. The last thing i wanted was to steal the Bride and Grooms thunder. Thankfully it didn't work out that way. They were far too amazingly adorable anyways :)

that extra 5kg i was talking about

In desperate need of food!

I slept the while way home from Melbourne. Good thing too because as soon as we got home, and every day for 3 months i had the worst migraine! i was diagnosed with Severe Basilar Migraine.

Basilar Migraine. Considered a subtype of migraine with aura (funny coloured spots and dancing lines), this migraine starts in the basilar artery, which forms at the base of the skull. It occurs mainly in young people. Symptoms may include vertigo (the room spins), ringing in the ears, slurred speech, unsteadiness, possibly loss of consciousness, and severe headaches.

I had all of the above symptoms. I felt like i wanted to chop off my ears and cut the tendons at the back of my neck to relieve the pain. Every time i stood or got up to pee or bent to pick something up i would lose spatial awareness and get dizzy. i would faint more the once a day and had to tell Joshua when i had to get up for the bathroom so he could catch me when i fainted.

The days were spent lying on the couch with the boys watching movies all day.

Nothing much you can do it that situation but Survive.

Joshua was amazing with going to work, taking time off when needed and them coming home to clean and cook dinner and put the boys to bed.

One morning it vanished!

When i was 21 weeks i got a call that my grandpa had died. on the way to the funeral i started to get painful contractions. Defiantly stress related i thought, even though i was at peace with his passing. As the day went on they got stronger. they continued for another 2 days. i began to get worried. i ended up in hospital and was given medication to stop the contractions. they didn't work. they gave me as much as could in 24 hrs. Eventually we were given 'the talk'. As i was only 21 weeks, the chances of baby surviving was next to none. They would not medically try to save his life. I was in tears and kept telling myself to hold that baby in. They could only give me one more terbutaline injection before letting nature take its course. Thankfully this one worked.

 Hello bed rest.

A few weeks after coming home, my sisters sister-in-law went into Premature labour at 22 weeks and lost her baby. I was so grateful that mine was still safely inside.

I was getting bigger. My skin was stretched so much i could see my veins through the translucent skin. ( really wish i had a photo of this. Its actually quite gross!) I dint know how much longer i could hang on, but i was determined to make it to at least 27 weeks. 

I was taken off bed rest and told to walk as much as possible, with tubigrip to strengthen my muscles in my hips as much as possible.

i did make 27 weeks, and then at 28 weeks, found myself back in hospital. I was outside and due to my big belly didn't see the dog by my feet. I tripped over her, catching myself with my hands but in a weird position. I felt an Almighty tear. Crap! I had been feeling burning in my scar and informed the midwives. they said if i feel a tear to call the ambulance  as i could bleed to death is a short amount of time.

With my 3yr old help i make it inside and called the hubby at work. No answer. I called as many people as i could to contact him. Eventually i got through and the ambulance was called. I was rushed to hospital (that little green flute thingy is amazing!) Once again my body began to contract. 

No tear and 2 shots later, all was well once again. I truly can see now how blessed i was in those situations. 

Back to bed rest

I had a blessing while in preterm labour at 21 weeks that said the baby would come out as soon as he was ready.

This was very true.

At 34 weeks i couldn't get out of bed due to sciatica pain. The nerve was being pinched by my spine. We got a Pregnancy Remedial Masseuse to come asap to try and help me find some relief and movement again.

He was amazing! Sure i was still in pain but at least i could move again.

34weeks and contractions began again. They became regular and strong and i knew this was it! We went to Lyell Mac and began the observation process. I was confident. 

'We will admit you but you are not dilating so we have to wait' So wait we did... For 3 days!!! As explained before my body has issues with dilation. Baby 1 = 4cms, Baby 2 = not even 1.

3 days of labour with nothing! i was given all kinds of drugs to stop it and also pethidine for pain. nothing helped. Contractions continued every 3, then 2, then 1 min for 2mins at a time. I was exhausted! Finally a decision was made to give the baby steroids for the lungs and to book the OR for the next morning. The next morning came. They prepped me and even put a catheter in. (anyone who has had one know it is not a nice experience) the nurse went to tell them i was ready to go. She never came back! 8am came and went. around 9 a group of Dr's (not the previous ones) came in and told me that they changed their minds about the c-section. I was now 35 weeks. 

I totally understand where they are coming from. They want what is best for the baby, and i did too. But at what point do you consider the heath and sanity of the mother? I was so angry i couldn't speak. i had tears running down my face. Their minds could not be changed. 

I was still having contractions and being monitored. I cried all that day. I didn't know what to do.

I called my dad. He suggested that instead of Praying for the baby to come out, that i should pray for Relief. So i did.

The relief i needed came. I was still having the same contractions but without the intense pain. 

We went home the next morning. That night around 7pm Joshua and i dropped the boys at the in laws and drove to Women's and Children's. Once again no dilation. We told them about the last few days and they were horrified.

After a few hrs of monitoring i began to feel the tearing pain again. They did another internal and thought they could see some fluid. It was tested and came back as amniotic fluid. That, combined with the pain from the scar gave them the green light. 

I had a smile from ear to ear. They kept asking if i was still having contractions because i was so happy. The monitor confirmed that yes indeed they were still there and as strong as ever!

at 7am on 10/11/12 my last baby was born. He was born at 35 weeks, and weighed 7lbs 1oz. He was put in the incubator for 1hr as a precaution, but was in my room the whole time after. 

He truly came when he was ready.

12 weeks

16 weeks - looks smaller but it is bigger.

16 weeks

17 weeks

At my brothers wedding

21 weeks

The preferred side - Head down feet up

24 weeks

27 weeks

Not the dog that i tripped over

Exercises

30 weeks

The dog i tripped over

33 weeks

35 weeks - Just before going to W&C

The head Obstetrician at women's and Children's said that my muscles were split so far apart, that when i was contracting it came to a point. The Surgeon who preformed my C-Section was to head also. He said my uterus was against my skin.

About to go in

I really wanted to watch but they would let me.

Best i got was a few blurred photos

First Hold

Incubator

Holding Daddy's hand

My baby

My boys